You Know You're A HoJo Fan When...

(Begun by Gary Dysarz on the HoJoTalk discussion list)

A portion of your home is reserved as a shrine to Howard!

Every time it rains, DALATR magically makes its way into your CD player!

All of your computer passwords begin or end with Howard's name!

Every time you enter a music store, you ritually go straight to the Howard Jones section and flip through, even though you have everything!

You can quote a Howard Jones song during any conversation at any time and have it be completely appropriate

Your mother gets excited for you when she hears Howard on the radio....

Three friends ring in the space of 1 minute to let you know that Howard is on TV (couple of weeks back...!!!-Jim R.)

You go out to karaoke with friends and everyone points out to you that there's a HoJo song in the selection book...

You will go to any lengths to be the first person in line when wristbands become available for an upcoming show, even if it means tripping on your untied shoelaces and getting the worst form of road rash possible on your body, and even though it huts like hell and you are bleeding profusely, you continue to run down to the ticket as fast as you possibly can, and you get the honour of getting that #1 wristband...And if you have to work or be out of state when the tickets do go on sale, you cancel your plans entirely for that brief period of conflicting time, just so you can get the best possible seats you can and not feel like you got crappy seats because you weren't in line early

Your husband thinks Howard is your boyfriend because you are always on email talking about him to all your hen friends (email me personally if you want to know what that phrase means--Jen F.)

You Know You're A HoJo Fan when all your friends start calling you a "Howard Jones Guru" because you have the biggest collection of memorabilia they have ever seen (though mine is miniscule compared to some of yours!)

During a presentation on animal rights to a college Bioethics course, on the overhead, you mention that Howard Jones is on a little album called Tame Yourself as part of a section called "Other Projects" done by PETA, even though on the original source his name was not mentioned (so you copy and paste the whole thing onto another template, just so you could get his name dropped). This of course, was on "Let The People Have Their Say-Day".

You send your DJ home from your wedding because he left his Howard Jones CDs sitting on his kitchen table!! (It was worth it -- he brought back extended mixes of New Song and What is Love!!)

When in the first 5 minutes of a conversation with someone you have just met the words, "Do you like Howard Jones?" come right out of your mouth.

When you're driving and you start paying atention to the music or change hte station, and there's a HoJo song on. (My husband looks at me and I just say "It's a gift.")

You can debate completely which was better--DIA No One Is to Blane or Action Replay/Phil Collins NOITB.

When people say "didn't he used to have orange hair?" and you don't kill them.

When you say to someone you just met that you like Howard and they say "Oh I love him! What's he doing now?" and you whip out your extra copy of "People" for them to keep.

When just them mention of his name from you starts your whole office singing TCOGB.

Your girlfriend ditches you because you play too much (!!) Howard Jones

Your friends say they instantly think of you when they hear HoJo on the radio

You get really, really annoyed seeing Tom Jones (and Grace Jones) CDs in Howard Jones racks in record stores

You know who Thelma and John are

You can put a CD on in times of trouble and it actually helps

You move heaven and earth to order a CD that was only released in Japan

You wanted your hair styled the same as Howard's in 1983 when you were 11...but your mother wouldn't let you!

... you instruct each of your colleagues in your office to respond you're temporary absent/busy/ill at any telephone call -being it boyfriend, family, boss- just because you have a chance in your life to chat live with Howard on the Web!!

You re-arrange store displays to make Howard's CDs more visible.

You won't date anyone who doesn't know who Howard is!!

when you spent years thinking you and the person who introduced you to hojo were the only fans.

when you're tired of hearing people say "Howard Jones? Who's he?" and then singing No One is to Blame off key.

when you go veggie because Howard did.

you have a entire section devoted to him on your private web page

You know when you're a HoJo fan when you are listed on the same page of a newspaper as Howard! (Well done Jim Redmond btw! A very good review!)

...when your boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever breaks up with you and you start playing "what is love?" OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 8)

You eat, sleep, breathe Howard Jones.

You almost have heart failure when you hear that he'll be doing some gigs in your country soon.

You count the day spent in the Greent Street house as one of THE best days of your life....

You hear a non hj song and decide you like it because the words or music remind you of howard

You hear howard on your car stereo and have it turned up all the way and are upset because it isn't loud enough

...when you call and request Howard's latest single ...half way around the world!

when you have nightmares, hoping that your July '99 wedding will not interfere with the tour with the Go-Go's!!!!!!

you can't decide on rather to go to the HoJo concert or visit your daughter whose sick in the hospital with pneumonia.

You look at all you old Photos and you are wearing a Howard Jones T-shirt in all of them...

You used to dry your hair upside down, spray it with loads of hair spray, back comb it for ages, realise it looked rubbish and wash it again....

Your Great Gran (honest!!) tells you she heard No One is to Blame on the radio...(cool or what!....although she is dead now...)

You have more than 3 remixes of Look Mamma

You type "Howad Jones" into internet search engines about 5 times a day...

You think Nik Kershaw was never quite as good....(he he he!!)

You play "air keyboard" really well to the instrumental break in Things Can....

You tell people in Ronnie Scotts in Birmingham to shut up when Howard is performing cos they are chatting....(boy was I angry...)

You play Angels and Lovers whenever new people get into your car, they say they like it, you talk for hours about it...

You think you know what "Time will wear away the stone, gets the hereditary bone" means....

Your favourite song changes twice a day...

When you listen to him non-stop for 8 hours while you are at work! (and of course in the car to and from work, while you are at home, on your days off.......)

I had a co-worker dare me to listen to something else once, so I brought in a cassette labled "Car songs", remembering making it, with various other artists; put it in my player, and..... found I had dubbed Howard over it!

You have your hairstylist give you Howard's Dream Into Action hairstyle the evening before the concert! (My friends could not believe I did it!) :)

You replay the sequence from Automaton where Howard is speaking a million times just so you can learn to speak like HoJo and mimic his accent (A being stared at me, benevolent, not cold, Automaton - he is controlled!)

You start to realize that as a child you were able to astonish your English teacher by boasting such an extensive vocabulary just because you were able to recall HoJo's sentences by heart!

When you travel 5 hours into another country to see him play a concert.

When you rush to the front of the stage knowing that you have a long wait before Howard even comes on stage.

When you risk not getting a good position to see the concert because you are hanging out near his bus hoping to be able to chat with the man.

When you take a lot of pictures at a concert (no flash of course).

When you take Howard's latest single into a major FM radio station and they play it even though it isn't even released in your country.

When you hang out after every concert to meet Howard.

I once went to a Howard Jones concert after having had heart surgery the day before. I had a racing heart condition that was corrected by having the problem burnt out of my heart while I was awake under an x-ray machine. It only required an overnight stay in the hospital. I felt well enough to drive from Sacramento, Ca to Palo Alto, Ca and it was the best concert I had ever been to. Mainly because that was when I finally met Howard! He was so nice. His mother is pretty cool too. She sent me a get well letter, actually the only one I ever got!--Polly P.

You can remember hearing (and seeing) his albums the first time around, and seeing the videos of too.

When you can't decide which Howard song to play, so you play the whole album.

When you not only play one of them, but you end up playing them all.....

When you pick up a Howard album that you have got, just to see if it is an import with one or two extra tracks (or different versions of the songs) on it; or you just buy an album because it has a HoJo song on it!

you phone a radio station in New York to say Hi and how happy you are that Howard is going to appear....when you're actually in Dublin , Ireland & listening to their webpage feed of the radio broadcast....

when it's 3:00am and your wife wants to know what you're doing in the studio 'till that hour... (because you just want to get that last bit of Howards' song right for the fan tribute CD)...

You know your're a Ho Jo fan when your wife gets angry at you when your on a long trip in the car when the 6 changer CD player has 6 Ho Jo CD's in it

- if your spouse automatically removes your car cd when he gets in before it even plays. He says it's always Howard. (Well, so what. Why listen to anything but the best?)

-if every secret code you have is Howard related because it is the only information you can keep in your memory!

when you tell the guy you go to a Howard concert with that you want a man just like Howard and he tells you that your expectations are too high!!!!!

When you replace CD´s on the shelfes with lots of People and other Hojo-CD´s....

When you listen to the radio and you scream when they play a HoJo-song so your boyfriend and friends thinks your ill or got injured...

When you write to all different kinds of newspapers, radiostations to let them know and ask them to write, play Howards new album...

When your little sister (no, not you Pernilla), who was into John Bon Jovi and Twisted Sister, Van Halen etc, tells you her friends was doubting her being a true heavy metal fan cause she knew too much about HoJo and all HoJo-songs back and forth...  ;o)

When your mother got furious cause she didn´t want to listen to the 12" album for the 20th time on the highest volume...

When you´re at mothers work and notice one of her bookmarks in her computer is to Howard Jones Information Network and to the pictures of People...

When your out in a club you always ask them to play Howard...

When Howards songs are like remedy to your famine in your heart...

When you get disappointed he´s not coming to Scandinavia for a gig or promotion...  ;-(

When you and your twinsister named your guinea pig Mica...

When you, in the 7th grade, wanted to understand every word Howard was singing and resulting in you knowing fancy words and your english teacher getting impressed...

When your lifestyle and your values are affected by Howard...

When people get impressed of your HoJo collection....

When you wish there could be another HoJo-convention like the one in High Wycombe...

When you fall in love with a RISK-member...

When your boyfriend, also a HoJo-fan, complains about you spending to much time with HoJoTalk and not with him...

When the night of the hojo concert at the "Lizard Lounge" (in Dallas, TX) my date was running late. I got so paranoid that I might miss the show I stood her up and when to the show by my self. - her loss. ... and nope... she never went out with me again!

It happened to you to seriously think of moving to SLC or High Wycombe to just enhance possibilities to join Howard's gigs. And meet lots of Talkies too! :)

...when you almost wished you still worked in London's West End so you could track the single releases on Oxford Street... and attend the HoJo album signing... and the London gigs...

...your entire inbox is filled with message subjects of 'You know you're a HoJo fan when...' :)

You have 2 scrap books at home with cuttings and clippings from all concerts you have been to, all the magazines that have included references to Howard and the letters you have received from Jan, Howard and Thelma over the years!

You have a "Howard Jones ?" t-shirt in black and white from 1983! (Glenn - have you still got yours?)

You buy a copy of OK Magazine when normally you wouldn't be seen dead with it - just because it's got this ace article about Howard and his family (but you do smuggle it home in a plain paper bag ...)

You buy more than one copy of LTPHTS - so you can give copies to friends too.

...... and I'm with you there on rearranging CD displays - that's exactly what I was doing last Friday in HMV / Virgin on Oxford Street in London!

You know you're a HoJo fan when....

you can easily recognize David Stopps or Tim Davis in a crowd of thousands.

you know who D.J. is.

every time you meet someone from the UK, you ask them questions about High Wycombe until they become terribly annoyed at you!

you listen to your Steve Winwood CD more intently, trying to separate Carol Steele's percussions from the rest of the music.

When your best friend is always searching through used CD shops and brings you your 3rd CD copy of "Dream Into Action" and says, "I know you already have this but...........". Also,

I was in a dept. store a few weeks ago and found myself humming along with the Muzak playing in the store. I suddenly came to the realization that the song was No One Is To Blame. Pretty weird huh, Howard via Muzak.